Someone Hasnt Eaten Solids for a Week
My mum hasn't eaten for 16 days, perchance longer.
(275 Posts)
I don't know what to practice. Information technology could be as long equally 3 or iv weeks since she ate annihilation solid but she may accept had a seize with teeth of toast or a spoon of pudding. She is not drinking either and is now just refusing everything. She is dehydrated and very weak.
Mum has dementia, but was doing ok in her residential home. Then she had a fall and fractured her hip 5 weeks ago. She wasn't actually eating in hospital but they discharged her anyhow only over 2 weeks agone. It looks like she hasn't eaten since.
What happens now? If they have her back to hospital and put her on a drip she will exist rehydrated, but for what? She is and so unhappy, she says she just wants to die. I don't know how to help her, or comfort her. The staff take murmured most end stages simply say it is up to u.s.. I suppose they hateful intervention, or not. At that place is no quality of life left merely I feel asif we are only leaving her to fade abroad and die. She is six years into the Alzheimer's just it robbed united states of america of my mum a long fourth dimension ago.
I don't accept any advise I'yard afraid but just wanted to offer a paw to hold. My Nanna had alzheimers - it's a horrible, horrible illness.
oh gosh that's difficult - my DGM suffered from Alzheimers, and it'southward very cruel.
and then is she back at her nursing home? Do they accept a resident/visiting doctor y'all tin can talk to?
So distressing downton 
It sounds similar your mum has had plenty and given up. I cant offer whatever constructive advice just I really feel for y'all.
I am so sorry to hear this. At that place are no piece of cake answers. I suppose you lot have to attempt to ascertain if your mother has any will left to alive, and let this guide your actions accordingly. I think to come across someone you love in despair and so confused is hell on world. As you say, this atrocious illness robs you of the person you love. I do hope you can all find more than peace soon, and recall your mum every bit she was.
My DM also had Alzheimers & I really fell for yous, Downton.
Obviously I have no more knowledge of this situation than your post but I think I would continue with end stages.
My DM got pneumonia & was kept comfortable but no intervention. It really was, I even so believe 15 years on, for the all-time.
Tin can yous ask the staff for some of those sponges on sticks to wipe circular her oral fissure - so that isn't uncomfortably dry?
I'm and so sorry Downton. Goose egg to say to assistance but just wanted to manus concur. I'm in a similar situation with my Grandmother - stopped eating, depressed.. so difficult to know what to do for the all-time.
Oh you poor thing. Alzheimers is fucking horrible. I don't have any advice either but couldn't not post. You sound similar you take washed a good deal of grieving already. I hope y'all are getting back up. ten
So sorry to hear this. My nan was similar this besides. I hope that someone here has some proper advice.
Somebody in one case said to me that people with dementia stop eating because it is the final affair that they have control over , deplorable just probably truthful . I think the best you can do is support her to a dignified end .Distressing x
Agree with badgers- contact your mum's gp. They tin hash out chapters etc. I think it makes information technology slightly easier if a medical decision is made as to what to do next, and so that yous don't experience you're the one "leaving her to fade abroad". (Which youre not, by the way, yous audio like you are trying actually hard to human action in her all-time interests.) She can be given fluids in infirmary to rehydrate her but realistically if she is frail and unwilling, it would be pretty brutal to start artificial feeling, either by nasogastric tube or via a PEG (tube into bowel). On the other hand, if she says she wants to die, if her low was treated would she take a better outlook on life? All things that her GP should be able to discuss with you lot and her carers, weigh up the risks, benefits, pros and cons. As she becomes increasingly delicate she will manifestly be more susceptible to infection etc and so a medical plan as to what to do in that case would also be a good thought- should she go to hospital for antibiotics, resuscitation if necessary, or just oral antibiotics in the comfort of her care home etc. I think this will help to preserve her dignity and hopefully ensure her (and your) wishes are met with regards to her care going forwards. I hope that is not likewise blunt, only always easier to sort these things out at present rather than leaving til the decision is out of your hands.
If you think back did she e'er give yo any guidance as to what she would desire in this state of affairs ? Really sorry, it must be so difficult. My Mum has Dememtia and I do know what she wants in this situation but one thing knowing and another doing.
She is in the dementia expanse of her residential home. It may be that she needs full nursing intendance now.
The problem is that no 1 seems to want to say anything. I have asked them to get the GP in tomorrow, considering she is dying in front end of my eyes. But I had to ask them to exercise this.
I would like a straight respond simply I don't suppose there is 1.
Apologies for ridiculous lack of paragraphs. Meant to say also my mother has dementia, although not at same stage as yours yet. Terrible, inhumane and brutal disease. I like you lot feel that I accept already grieved a lot for my own female parent even though she's still with us (although not really with usa, if yous run into what I mean)
Hi Downton, I'chiliad really sad to hear about your mum firstly, I lost my mum this year, it is terrible to come across them ill and weak.
I am a qualified nurse so I exercise know what I'grand talking near a bit, merely I am not an expert in elderly intendance and do not really take experience of residential homes. That said I would have thought the residents should all have access to a GP/geriatrician? I do not know whether Alzheimers is considered a bit like a concluding illness and at that place is some sort of proper care pathway for professionals to follow?
It does seem a bit of a catch 22 though in that if your mum is not hydrated it volition cause a lot more than confusion that she has already, she will also be even more uncomfortable eg thirsty, dry out oral fissure. She should at least exist given some fluids, perchance past a drip (4). Does she seem in whatsoever pain? If she really has no volition to alive then she should at least be kept hydrated and comfortable IMO. I hope this helps, dearest to you and your mum at this stressful time.
this is so tough, sorry you are going through this.
my nan died after a fall -broken hip.
it was operated but she never recovered.
as you lot describe she only ate a bite if encouraged, but didn't have the urge to eat/drink anymore.
she died peacefully 39 days later on the operation.
hope in your example information technology goes differently, but my nan wasn't in pain and at peace the last few weeks. she was only 'gear up to become' as absurd as it may sound.
Read your post again (sorry a bit rushed as also accept DD in my left ear) and information technology sounds like you certainly don't want any 'aggressive' handling which I thoroughly understand. If this was my mum I would be discussing with staff that she must be kept hydrated and comfortable, I would not be force feeding in this situation.
Thank you for all the replies!
What is a dignified end and how do we get one- that is what I need to know.
She is depressed and has been for years, she is on antidepressants.
She is so dehydrated that I could lift the skin from her paw and it just stays in that location. I'thousand as well pretty sure she has ketosis (sp?) her body is merely eating itself.
Only wanted to say how lamentable I am for your situation, it is a difficult position to be in, your mum is lucky to take yous looking out for her.
Sorry not to name cheque. I am reading and trying to remember your questions.
I certainly wouldn't want whatever kind of force feeding /PEG for her.
Yes she is in some pain. She is refusing her medication. She is finding it hard to consume annihilation. Fifty-fifty fluids. She needs constant prompting to take even a sip. It took my an hr and a half today to become her to drink an inch from a cup. Left to her ain devices it would exist nothing.
With the best volition in the world the staff are not able to spend that time. I also plant her call button unplugged yesterday which I can't even begin to tell you how furious I was about.
hmm information technology does sound like mayhap she needs full time specialist care. Is there a abode in your area that caters specifically to dementia sufferers?
The home she is in now might be able to requite you some suggestions of more than suitable places?
This is so sad downtown, I am a care banana in a dimentia intendance home, it is such an awful disease.
I am truly sorry but I oasis't any advice. Just unmumsnetty hugs 20
I wonder if it might be helpful to talk to someone objective, perhaps an Alzheimer's charity or something? Distressing, nothing specific to advise but from existence in similar situations I empathize and call back it'southward ok to go with your instinct and don't shy abroad from that x
I think she needs palliative intendance involvement- that isn't just for cancer sufferers, just decent, end-of-life intendance. This should exist able to be provided by GP and district nurses.
Re the fluids Q- as she becomes more dehydrated, fluids get perchance fifty-fifty less appropriate- call back of the difficulty of inserting a cannula into her dehydrated skin and veins. When consciousness levels are dropping, things like skillful mouth care are every bit as important- then remember well-nigh artificial saliva (orabase gel, gp can prescribe) which would brand oral cavity much more than comfortable, and I think someone suggested those fiddling sponges which can be soaked and sucked or just swooshed about her mouth.
Re pain- syringe driver is a good idea, this allows a small merely abiding amount of a drug to enter her organisation, usually by a tiny soft needle just under her skin. And then she could have a little bit of hurting killer, and something for agitation. Not to knock her off more than, you lot understand, simply to keep her comfortable. Oral drugs pretty useless if she (a) wont take them and (b) won't be absorbed properly if also dehydrated.
They are talking about end of life plan, it has a name but it has slipped my listen now. Basically when she refuses food and water she isn't forced. Simply made comfortable with hurting meds and mouth care. This style she will slip away. I don't know almost legalities of it simply it is mutual, particularly with dementia patients. They are probably asking, in a circular about way, practice you desire to let her go.
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Source: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/elderly_parents/1833653-My-mum-hasnt-eaten-for-16-days-possibly-longer
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